i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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