you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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