Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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