Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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