wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize