I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize