yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize