I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize