took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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