I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize