Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize