Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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