he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
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Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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