normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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