They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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