I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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