She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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