dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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