she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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