Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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