Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize