we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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