youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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