Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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