Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize