They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize