i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
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I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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