After last night, I could never be a politician.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize