"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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