capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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