Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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