i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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