singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize