I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize