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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
A bitchslap is in order.
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