At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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