yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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