He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
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That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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