So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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