just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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