Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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