he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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