You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
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She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
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He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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