Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i dont even know how to be here
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
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I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
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So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
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