how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
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Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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