new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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