The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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