Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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