I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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