If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize